Tales of an Empty Bottle
by Alley Cat Sunflower
Summary: What happens when the Chimeriad and Milla's group get together for a somewhat-friendly game of Spin the Bottle? Contains lots of unconventional pairings, practically none of them meant to be taken seriously. Probably takes place soon after the events of the first game. Also probably should be considered crack. T for suggestive themes. I do not own Tales of Xillia or the cover art!


_This fic was unabashedly inspired by Salazarfalcon's Vesperia fic "Kiss and Tell", which is probably loads better than this one. You should go check it out if you play that too! (And all the rest of their stuff.)_

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If you'd asked on that fine evening why exactly the Chimeriad and those who followed Milla Maxwell were drinking together, not one of the eleven assembled could have told you. Especially as they distinctly remembered four of their rank having died—but of course, that could have just been the alcohol talking. They weren't about to question it. Why waste a nice night worrying over the past?

Well, it might not really have been _night_, since the sun never rose over Fennmont to begin with. It was kind of depressing, really, as a tipsy Leia had no qualms about announcing at the top of her lungs. She was, of course, hushed immediately by a regrettably sober Jude.

Why he'd let Alvin buy them all drinks when the youngest among them was only twelve he didn't know, but it was done now, and there wasn't much he could do about it anymore. He wasn't sure whether he'd dare do anything about it anyway, since the King of Auj Oule (_Rieze Maxia, now, _he corrected himself a moment later) was for some reason along for the ride and apparently enjoying himself.

Just because Jude had beaten him a couple times before didn't make him think that defying him was a good idea. No, it would be best for him to just shut up and do some damage control.

Anyway, the place seemed much too small with eleven people crammed into a four-bed room, particularly as one of them was Jiao the Immovable, who truly lived up to his name. Again, Jude wasn't quite sure why he was there given the incident at Fezebel Marsh, but he couldn't exactly find the voice to ask amid all the chaos.

Gaius sat with a remarkable amount of dignity on one of the beds, cross-legged, just as though it were his throne. Wingul sat next to him, one leg crossed over the other; there was no visible difference in Agria's behavior as she stumbled aimlessly around the room, flames flickering dangerously in both hands. Jiao, meanwhile, sat on the floor next to the bed. (Jude wondered distractedly how he ever slept, since he'd probably break any bed he so much as touched.)

Presa, meanwhile, lay somewhat across a very distracted Alvin's lap on another bed, playing with his belt as he stroked her hair. Leia sat next to him, pointedly ignoring him and staring at Jude on the bed across from them; Milla clung to Jude's arm, laughing and wavering a little. Rowen reclined on the final bed, with Elize sitting next to him worriedly and hugging a strangely silent Teepo for dear life.

Wait… was that Muzét's giggle? Jude glanced sharply at the doorway to find the obnoxious spirit hovering there, a hand raised coyly to her mouth as her eyes sparkled with suppressed laughter. Jude sighed heavily, knowing that the night was going to be a long one, and not necessarily in a good way. He and Elize were the only ones who hadn't touched a drop of alcohol, and a twelve-year-old wasn't exactly stellar moral support. If anything, _he'd_ have to play guardian for _her_.

Jiao was, unsurprisingly, the first to finish his respective bottle—and Jude didn't miss the glint in Alvin's eyes as he glanced at it lying (mostly) innocently on the ground. A jolt of alarm flashed through Jude, and he scooted towards it to scoop it out of reach, but Alvin got there first: he raised it above his head and announced to the whole room, "Anyone up for Spin the Bottle?"

Jude glanced around the room, expecting to find objections at every twist and turn, but (to his dismay) most people seemed remarkably relaxed at the suggestion. Leia and Muzét seemed downright enthusiastic, and Milla was smiling in a way that made him think she'd read just a little too much on this subject. He wasn't sure either Rowen or Agria had heard; Elize was obviously too shy to object. Jiao and Wingul merely exchanged a glance and shrugged. Even Gaius seemed impassive as always, with neither scorn nor praise to offer for Alvin's idea.

Jude's eyes flicked momentarily towards Milla along with his mind, and for a moment he wavered, imagining what it would be like to kiss the spirit he adored. Would it really be so bad to play Spin the Bottle for the sake of that chance? He'd wanted to tell her how he felt for such a long time. This might be the perfect way…

Everyone slowly reorganized themselves into a haphazard circle on the floor in the center of the four beds—even Agria, though she slurred insults under her breath as she glared. Jude settled uncomfortably onto his knees, glancing around at faces flushed with anticipation, and helped Milla down gently next to him. The last thing he needed was the Lord of Spirits breaking her head open on the hardwood floor just because of a few sips of alcohol.

"I'll go first," volunteered Alvin, to no one's surprise; the room was oddly quiet as he gave the bottle a spin with a flourish. The neck twirled around and around, spitting a few drops of clear liquid onto the ground as though contemptuous, and landed on…

…Elize. Her breath caught, and she squeezed Teepo too tight for him to even exclaim how unfair that was. Both sets of eyes were wide and almost scared. Jude, half against his will, gave an encouraging nod.

"On the _lips_?" squeaked Teepo, and Elize loosened her hold on him self-consciously.

"No," ruled Jude, glaring around at the group, none of whom offered any argument (though Agria looked sullen as she took another swig of liquor).

"Ouch," said Alvin, though there was a good-natured smile on his face, and Elize scurried shyly over to him and pecked him hurriedly on the cheek before settling back to the ground, blushing furiously as she stared at her skirt spread out around her. Jude felt momentarily sorry for her as the group exchanged uncertain glances between themselves, waiting for the as yet motionless bottle to be spun once more.

"Go on, spin the bottle," encouraged Alvin, throwing a heavy arm around Presa with a more-than-slightly-tipsy smile to the twelve-year-old. "It's easy enough."

"O-oh!" stammered Elize, looking as though she would like nothing better than to sink through the floor and disappear, and gave the bottle a weak nudge. It moved a couple spaces over to Rowen, sitting on the corner of a bed as though a spectator: all eyes turned to him.

"I had not intended to play," he said apologetically, looking alarmed, but Elize had already gotten to her feet; Rowen bowed his head, lifting Elize's hand as though weighing it, before bestowing a soft and gentlemanly kiss to the back of her hand. Elize gave the ghost of a smile before seating herself once more.

"Someone else, please spin the bottle for me," sighed Rowen. "I'm not as young as I used to be, you know. Sitting on the floor is… not as appealing as once it was."

Jiao obliged and sent the bottle spinning with enough strength that Jude wondered if it would ever stop, but eventually it came to a rest on none other than… Wingul. Wingul the Nova. The Ebon Wing of Auj Oule. Jude couldn't suppress a somewhat rueful smile—could matches get much worse than that?

The two tacticians exchanged a look of absolute hatred. (Well, the emotion flashing in Rowen's storm-gray eyes was as close to hatred as Jude had ever seen—but the fury lurking in Wingul's golden gaze was unmistakable.)

"Pass," said Rowen flatly, and Wingul nodded fervently in agreement.

"Oh, I forgot to mention—you can't skip your matchup," asserted Alvin nonchalantly. "Come on, you two. Kiss and make up."

Wingul muttered something in Long Dau that might have roughly translated to 'Over my dead body', but at the wordless urging of Alvin and Presa, succumbed to the dare. He seized Rowen's palm as though longing to rip it off before planting a quick kiss to the back of his hand that Jude had no doubt would taste bitter for weeks.

With a considerable amount of vehemence, Wingul spun the bottle, and it came to a rest midway between himself and Jiao. He extended his hand uncertainly towards the middle as though to spin again, clearly hoping no one would notice the potential match he had created.

"No, Wingul. Kiss Jiao," ruled Gaius, and glanced at his two subordinates amusedly. Wingul rolled his eyes and turned to face the giant, reaching for his hand sa though to pull the same trick as he had with Rowen, but was promptly met with a kiss to the forehead—slow and somewhat patronizing. Jiao positively beamed as Wingul took a resentful draft from his own bottle, and without further ado spun the bottle.

It almost spiraled out of the circle, but the neck eventually came to face Gaius.

"Serves you right," muttered Wingul with a barely suppressed smile, and scooted back so the two could face one another. Their faces were almost close enough to kiss (Jude was both horrified and captivated at the very idea) before Jiao lifted Gaius's hand and pressed a respectful kiss to its back. Gaius smiled at his decision and settled back comfortably.

"If someone doesn't make out soon, I'm gonna lose it," muttered Alvin. "Cheeks, foreheads, and hands! What kind of a game _is_ this? Your move, Gaius," he added, leaning against the bed (Presa rested her head on Alvin's shoulder, and her feet in the king's lap).

Muzét picked that moment to drift on the other side of Jude, startling him—just as the bottle pointed her direction. "Lucky me!" she purred, beaming at the man alongside whom she had fought, and Gaius gave a barely noticeable roll of his eyes before gesturing for her to come to him. Apparently, he only liked her for her power. Jude couldn't really blame the guy.

The king had no time to lean forward: Muzét planted a coy, childish, and thankfully chaste kiss to his lips. Alvin gave a satisfied smile, and Gaius's hand twitched as though wanting nothing more than to wipe off his mouth before pointing to the bottle, meeting the spirit's eyes sternly as though she were nothing more than a dog. (Agria's laughter, while no different from her sober hysterics, was louder and more obnoxious than usual, mixed in with a few snorts—but even Jude couldn't suppress a smile.)

"Oh, right," giggled Muzét, clearly missing the insult, and somehow spun the bottle without even making contact. Jude found himself praying it didn't land on him; they'd had quite enough awkwardness with the whole 'direct-tethering' thing without adding actual, physical kissing into the mix.

Besides, he kind of wanted his first kiss to be with Milla, but… you know.

His heart nearly burst out of his chest when it landed on _her_ instead. This wasn't going to be good. "You're _sisters_!" he cried as Milla rose with an unreadable look in her eyes to face Muzét… but Milla either didn't hear him or completely ignored him—_sometimes I wish she'd just walk away from a challenge, _thought Jude furiously—as their lips met.

It was too slow a kiss for Jude to deem appropriate, based on their relationship. (Plus, the whole two-girls-kissing thing was still a little much for his brain to cope with.) "Good job," he muttered as Milla returned to his side, a bit too calmly, and flicked the unruly bottle back into motion. Muzét's only response was to giggle and settle between Alvin and her sister.

"Elize," said Milla, stirring Jude out of his thoughts, and Teepo grinned.

"Pucker up!" he sang gaily as Elize scooted over to Milla, giving her an uncertain kiss to the cheek and sitting back in her place before anyone could even react, even the recipient of her kiss. This time, she spun the bottle before anyone else could even register the fact that she had fulfilled her bargain—

But it landed on Wingul.

_Why is he even playing? _thought Jude, annoyed, as Wingul gave Elize a somewhat calculating look that plainly terrified the young girl ("Don't eat me!" cried Teepo). _If you want to play Spin the Bottle, you have to be okay with kissing the people you're playing with!_

"Come here," said Wingul, surprisingly softly, and Elize reluctantly obeyed, wavering a little in place; Teepo had fallen remarkably silent, perhaps out of fear. Wingul kissed her forehead briefly, so lightly that his lips barely brushed her skin, and with a surprising amount of gentleness. Perhaps, reflected Jude, that had been because Jiao looked vaguely as though he was considering smashing him into a wall if he mistreated his favorite little girl.

No one dared to comment aloud as Elize sat down—though Agria said something under her breath to Presa with a gleeful grin on her face—and Wingul practically punched the bottle to vent his feelings, sending it twirling until it finally shuddered to a stop on none other than Gaius himself.

"Ha!" exclaimed Agria, pointing to Wingul.

"Serves you right, featherneck!" agreed Teepo, and Elize clamped a hand over his mouth, giving a frightened glance to the king's strategist—who was still merely observing Gaius with wide eyes. The king raised an eyebrow at Wingul's expression somewhat amusedly, as though asking what he was going to do.

Wingul's eyes merely flicked between Gaius and his lap a few times before he apparently reached a decision. He reached over to caress his king's face, leaning in and tilting his head as he did so, and finally kissed Gaius full on the mouth. Jude stared at the two of them, disbelieving, before they broke apart: time seemed to have slowed down. It hadn't been a long kiss. It simply wasn't _chaste_.

Gaius's mouth was still slightly open as he stared at his right-hand man, who cleared his throat slightly, his eyes on the motionless bottle. There was no hint of genuine attraction between them, noted Jude; they merely seemed very comfortable with one another, if a little shocked and/or uncomfortable.

That, or Jude just didn't have a gaydar. He wasn't quite sure which.

Alvin apparently thought otherwise, as he smirked and whispered to Presa, quite audibly, "I knew his love for his king ran deep, but I didn't know it ran _that _deep"—and was promptly nailed in the face by another empty bottle from Wingul's direction, as Gaius finally spun the one waiting in the middle.

Jude was invested enough in watching Alvin's eyes watering in pain as he rubbed his bruised skull that he didn't notice the king of Rieze Maxia was now crouching before him intently.

"Whoa, uh," was all Jude could manage before he noticed Gaius leaning in, and—panicking—held up his ruler's hand and kissed it hastily before their lips could meet. Only after he did so did the terror of having kissed any part of his liege lord truly sink in, and Jude dropped his hand, stammering any number of excuses as Gaius closed his eyes briefly, smirked, and returned to his seat, evidently satisfied.

Jude spun the bottle numbly, hoping fervently it wouldn't land on any of the Chimeriad, and found with some relief that his wish was granted. However, that didn't make the thought of kissing _Alvin_ any more appealing, and Jude had no wish to hide his apprehension as he stared at his comrade.

"C'mere, kid," laughed Alvin, removing his arm from around Presa as Jude self-consciously maneuvered around Milla to face him. He wasn't going to chicken out. He wasn't going to chicken out. He wasn't…

…Yeah, he chickened out. Jude closed his eyes in thought and was about to bow his head and then bow out altogether, accepting whatever punishment, when suddenly, warm lips met his own, and he jerked away impulsively as his eyes flew open—though it had been a light kiss.

"Come on, am I really that bad a kisser?" joked Alvin at his doubtless shellshocked expression, and Jude sighed heavily as he returned to a too-amused Milla's side. To keep his sanity, he forced himself to think of the eventuality that he should be paired with Milla… Yeah, that would be nice…

Oh. Muzét's turn.

"I guess there are worse matches," shrugged Alvin as the spirit floated dreamily towards him to receive her kiss—and Jude had to admit he was a little surprised Alvin didn't bother doing it full-on like Wingul had to Gaius… especially as she looked so disappointed when they broke apart.

Muzét used some sort of spirit arte to move the bottle, and Jude couldn't tell whether she stopped it on purpose or whether his luck was really rotten, because he was the Chosen One again. However, Alvin's triumphant chuckle only spurred him on to face Muzét with resolution in his every aspect. He had a new mission. He was not going to leave the game until he kissed Milla Maxwell!

Even if that meant kissing her twin sister first…

Jude rose, took a deep breath, and brought his lips up to Muzét's reluctantly, pulling quickly away from the spirit before she could try anything funny, and immediately sat down again to spin the bottle once more (Muzét pouted and rose to the ceiling as an observer, much to everyone's silent relief). The faster he could get the spin over with and get to the next person, the less time people would spend gaping at his matches.

Was that _relief _in Elize's eyes when the neck pointed to her?

"Sorry," said Jude automatically, but she only scuttled over to him and planted a somewhat wet kiss on his cheek—and then the world faded in his eyes and ears as Teepo clamped around Jude's head in his familiar, if obnoxious, greeting.

Jude flailed for a moment, making indistinct noises of alarm and protest, but nothing could pry Teepo off until he was good and ready to come off… as Jude knew from experience. By the time he managed to extricate himself from the booster's jaws, Elize was already looking with undisguised apprehension at Jiao.

"Don't tell me," muttered Jude, glancing at Milla, who was watching the scene with no trace of her giddy smile on her face. That was as much of an answer as he needed.

Jiao pressed a gentle, fatherly kiss to her forehead; Elize swayed in place as he did so—evidently even his kisses were strong enough to almost knock her down. As she seated herself again, he gave her a reassuring, affectionate smile, and she gave the tiniest hint of reciprocation before hiding her mouth behind Teepo's head.

As the bottle swirled indecisively around, Jude found himself praying not only for the sparing of his own lips but also Elize's, as she was beginning to look distinctly warily at the bottle—but neither of them had anything to fear as the bottle pointed directly at Presa.

As usual, it was impossible to tell exactly how Jiao was feeling, but Jude thought privately that there probably wasn't disappointment in those inscrutable eyes. Presa smiled dangerously, got to her feet, sashayed the couple feet over to Jiao, and gave him a kiss Jude was sure he would never forget.

It wasn't a very deep one. It was one that _pretended_ to be deep, and then pulled away just as Jiao had started curving his hand to her back to draw her in further; Presa merely gave him a self-satisfied smirk and sat too close to a largely unruffled Alvin once more, and Jiao shook his head slowly as Wingul looked at him with undisguised sympathy.

"Tease," laughed Alvin, his lips in her hair, and Presa gave the bottleneck a lazy push, only for it to spin around and point to none other than Agria the Shadowless.

Agria's eyes widened, and it was Leia's turn to laugh pointedly. All her guilt over the other girl's death (that was still a thing that happened, right? Jude wasn't imagining it?) was apparently gone, replaced with drink, and Agria's eyes narrowed. Jude could tell Leia was in for a thrashing, but fortunately for everyone involved, Presa distracted her by initiating the match. She curved her arm around the waist of the girl sitting next to her and gave her a lingering, surprisingly gentle kiss square on the lips.

Jude could have sworn no one except the two female Chimeriad and maybe Muzét breathed for a couple seconds, as Presa settled back against Alvin. Jude, for one, was trying to figure out why _anyone_ would kiss Agria—

His thoughts were unfortunately cut off as the girl in red sang, "Come on, bottle!" and cast a spirit arte, evidently hoping to propel the bottle forward via explosion—but of course, it ruptured instead, shattering and scattering shards of glass all around.

Muzét smiled distantly at everyone's yelps as they flinched away from the sharp remnants of the bottle; Gaius dusted a fleck of glass from his pauldron, unperturbed, as Alvin recovered enough to place another empty bottle in the middle.

"Agria," said Gaius expressionlessly, as she moved her hand forward happily, ostensibly to repeat the process—and apparently, he needed to say no more, as she straightened up with an almost frightened look in her eyes.

"Yes, sir," she muttered, and spun the bottle with enough fury to propel it for several spins before it finally came to rest on her lord and master. She looked at where the neck was pointed, and Jude could see her eyes slide from that to Gaius's crossed legs, to his torso, and finally to his impassive face, the fear in her gaze becoming more and more evident as she did so.

Jude never imagined it would give him this much pleasure to watch her squirm.

"It doesn't have to be on the lips," reminded Teepo triumphantly. "Go on, kiss him!"

"Shut your fuzzy trap!" snarled Agria, flaring up quite literally. "I should burn you to a crisp!"

"What you _should _do, Agria, is kiss the king already," sighed Presa, playing with a couple strands of Alvin's hair boredly. "Come on. We're not playing this to witness your theatrics." Gaius held up his hand to silence her, and she closed her mouth obediently, but a spark of amusement still burned in her dull brown eyes.

Agria grit her teeth, seized Gaius's hand before he could return it to his side, and kissed his palm with a surprising amount of meekness before returning silently to her seat. Gaius looked at his palm, somewhat confused, and then to Agria, frowning.

"That… isn't how one generally kisses one's hand," supplied Rowen helpfully, crossing one leg over the other matter-of-factly.

"Oh, button it, you old fart," snapped Agria, staring fixedly at the part of the ceiling not occupied by Muzét; Rowen obliged smilingly as Gaius shrugged and spun again.

Jude was worried as the bottle slowed that he was going to have to kiss his king _again_, but no—Leia was the victim this time. Jude glanced at her nervously to find that she was remarkably placid… but then he saw something click in her eyes, and she glanced up to Gaius, who was looking uncharacteristically uncertain at this point.

"Go on," encouraged Milla, laughing and taking another swig.

Leia crawled forward on her hands and knees to face Gaius, who gave the barest hint of a smile. She leaned up, twisting her head to the side as she went so as to be able to kiss his cheek, but lost her balance and fell directly into her ruler's lap. (Jude was only grateful that she had turned to face upward, because he definitely didn't want to have to watch the alternative.)

"Um, hi," she greeted her king, voice cracking under the strain as she met Gaius's startled eyes; her face was pinker than a peachberry, and Jude found himself fearing for her life. What if he was mortally offended? She'd be done for, and it would be partially his fault! He should have known better than to let her drink!

"Hello," responded Gaius, and he actually_ smiled _a little as he said it—Jude sighed in relief. Leia pushed herself up as Gaius leaned down, and the result was an extremely awkward kiss, nestled between her neck and shoulder. Jude could see her freeze and shiver from across the room; he wasn't sure who was more surprised: her, or Gaius.

"B-bye," stammered Leia after a breathless pause, scurrying back across the room as fast as her arms and legs could carry her without even bothering to check her king's expression; she rolled her shoulder and wiggled her fingers, and Jude could tell she was doing her best not to look at or touch the spot where she had been kissed.

"…Goodbye," said Gaius, and there was a slight hesitation in the word; Jude noted that he was looking any direction but Leia's. He imagined that kissing a girl seventeen years his junior in that way, however accidentally, was probably not exactly acceptable to him. Especially as said girl had been his enemy not too long ago.

"Spin it, pimple!" shrieked Agria, when nothing happened, and Leia jumped.

"Sor-_ree_!" she retorted, and gave the bottle a rough push.

Alvin just laughed, watching the bottle intently, and Jude wondered for a moment why he was paying such close attention. Was it possible that he wanted Leia to kiss _him_? He dismissed the suggestion a moment later; speaking of age differences, eleven years wasn't anything to sneeze at itself.

So quickly Jude might have missed it if he hadn't been looking, a flash of disappointment made itself evident in Alvin's countenance—and then, quite suddenly, brown eyes met brown eyes. The corner of Alvin's mouth tugged up ever so slightly, and his eyes slid to the girl sitting on Jude's left. _Oh no…_

Jude jerked his gaze to the bottle, which—sure enough—pointed to him, and then looked into Leia's face. He felt himself go red (Milla's grip on his right arm tightened): his childhood friend's eyes shone with something like anticipation.

"U-uh," managed Jude, glancing hurriedly at Alvin, who motioned for him to turn around and face his match. Leia apparently didn't have time to wait the second or so for Jude to turn his head, however: her hand came flying up to cup his face, but at that velocity it was more like a slap. Jude flinched as his head was turned forcibly to face hers, but found himself closing his eyes as Leia aggressively brought her mouth up to his.

Someone _had _to have spiked his water. There was no way a completely sober Jude would actually enjoy kissing _Leia Rolando_. Nonetheless, he wasn't the first one to break away, much to his own surprise.

The world seemed to have gone blank for a moment; the only thing he heard was his own heartbeat thudding against his chest, and the only thing that occupied his thoughts was catching his breath. Leia still hadn't disentangled herself from around him; she was plainly as shocked as he was. Only when she finally removed her hands did Jude realize that one of them had somehow tangled itself in his hair, and Jude shook himself abruptly back to reality. La-la land was a very dangerous place.

"There, he's back," chortled Alvin. "Come on, spin. Who knows, you might get lucky." He grinned pointedly at Milla, whom Jude noted (hope and happiness flaring in his quickened heart) looked vaguely jealous of Leia.

Jude obediently spun the bottle, praying that he would be able to make it stop on Milla by the sheer force of his affection—and was, of course, disappointed._ The spirits must hate me, _he groaned inwardly.

"Alvin again? That's not what _I_ call 'lucky'," he sighed, falling backwards overdramatically. The first time hadn't been as horrible an experience as he had expected, but he wasn't exactly eager to do it again. "Are we at least allowed to skip the ones we've done already?"

Alvin said no. Gaius begged to differ.

In a clash between the king of Rieze Maxia and the one who orchestrated the events of the game, one would expect the former to win, no contest. This was not the case. The Chimeriad, of course, allied themselves with their boss (though Presa remained silent), while Leia and, surprisingly enough, Milla preferred to side with Alvin. Elize and Jude couldn't get a word in edgewise, while Muzét simply kept her position as a neutral observer, though an airy smile touched her lips.

It was looking to be all-out war, all available space taken up with insults and arguments, before Presa cleared her throat delicately and, using her ridiculous tail, quite suggestively swept the bottleneck to face her instead.

"There. Are you dolts happy now?" she asked, as the room fell silent.

Alvin raised an eyebrow as all eyes turned to him; apparently, he was still considered chief rulemaker despite the spat with the Chimeriad. "Suit yourself," he said eventually. "Go easy on the boy, now. I don't think he's man enough to handle you just yet." He tossed a wink in Jude's direction; Jude was a little more focused on keeping his color down. _Keep your cool, Jude. You can do it._

He wouldn't have guessed that anyone would give the single-fingered 'come here' gesture anywhere except the movies, but apparently, Presa was an exception—though what more could he have expected from someone who was lying in a position similar to that one meme. What was it? _'Paint me like one of your Aktau girls'?_

Jude halted in front of her, sinking to one knee and trying desperately to think of how not to make this awkward, painfully aware of Alvin's proximity and of the smirk on his face. Well, he'd wipe that smug smile right back off again! He darted in and planted a quick kiss on Presa's pursed lips, backing up fast enough after it was done that he lost his balance.

Alvin and Presa's laughter was, oddly enough, not mocking—but Agria's was. "I see what you mean, Al," sighed Presa sultrily. "If he can't even kiss me properly, I hate to think how he'd handle me in a more… _interesting_ situation."

'Al' merely raised an eyebrow as Jude returned self-consciously to his seat, grateful that the attention was siphoned away from him for once (though Agria was still cackling in the background). "The kid's seven years younger than you. What do you expect? Leave him alone."

Jude could have cut the sexual tension with a knife as Presa swept her tail to spin the bottle, her eyes never leaving Alvin's. He half-expected her to stop it on him purposely, if only to resolve their staring contest, but she instead let it slow on its own until it landed on…

…_Milla_?!

No. No no no no no.

Jude tried to grasp her arm to keep her seated next to him, but he either didn't have the will or strength to restrain her, and his hand slipped uselessly down her arm before dropping back to his side. Both females rose, stepping into the middle of the circle, and locked eyes—but made no move.

Glancing nervously around, Jude wondered if anyone was going to try to stop them. Elize's eyes were wide, and even as he watched, Jiao covered her and Teepo's eyes with one giant hand. Rowen was smiling slightly, but that wasn't as bad a reaction as Alvin's—the former mercenary was openly beaming, loosening his scarf as though too hot.

Wingul and Gaius wore almost identical scandalized expressions, but there was something off about them, with the strategist slipping more than his king. It was almost like they were trying their level best to conceal genuine interest.

Jude glanced back up at the girls to try and say _no stop_, and immediately wished he hadn't: their lips met just as he turned his gaze towards their faces, and he found with some alarm that he was powerless to look away. Each time they showed signs of stopping, one or the other would respond more aggressively, reigniting one another's flames of resolution.

When they _finally_ broke apart, each breathing hard, Jude noticed that his mouth was hanging open and immediately shut his jaws with a click. Presa and Milla exchanged something almost like a smirk and sat down in their respective places; Jude glanced around to find that though Rowen was merely smiling, Wingul looked a little punch-drunk, with Gaius only a little more composed—and Alvin was outright drooling.

"Pull yourself together," said Presa, wiping Alvin's face with his scarf disgustedly as Milla spun the bottle. Jude's heartbeat quickened as the bottleneck slowed, and prepared to pull her into a kiss to rival Presa's—but it moved with agonizing slowness almost another full circle to point at none other than Alvin.

Jude couldn't suppress a somewhat disappointed sigh as she crawled over to Alvin (he averted his eyes, not without some reluctance, as her miniskirt revealed more than was meant to be seen). He was glad he couldn't see the kiss itself, only the back of Milla's head and her luxurious locks cascading down her back, but he knew from its length that it wasn't a chaste one. _Why does everyone get to kiss Milla before me?!_

"Kissing the Lord of Spirits, huh," said Alvin, voice cracking a little as he fidgeted with his scarf. "I guess that's one thing most guys don't get to do." He reached over and sent the bottle twirling, and Jude was about to leap to his feet and quit once and for all as it slowed towards him—but it shuddered to a halt a centimeter or two to his left, and Leia's eyes widened.

"You shot me," she accused, crossing her arms, and Alvin got an ugly look on his face as he leaned forward, staring at her from across the circle. "Anyone who tried to kill me doesn't get to kiss me, and I don't care if it was an accident," she added finally, lowering her eyes.

"You let _Gaius_ kiss you," he reminded her, raising his eyebrows.

Leia opened her mouth, but found that she had nothing to say to this, and merely continued to avoid looking at him as she shut it again. Alvin smiled slightly in response and crawled across the circle, pausing in front of her and raising a gloved hand to caress her chin.

Leia started, anger or perhaps fear sparking in her eyes, but whatever emotion it was faltered as she observed the seriousness of Alvin's expression. "I'm sorry," he murmured, brushing his thumb against her lips—but he made no move to actually fulfill the match. "So let me apologize."

Jude's eyes slid over to Presa when Leia made no response; the spellcaster didn't seem surprised or even jealous, but unless he was much mistaken, there was sadness deep in her eyes.

"I—I don't…" Leia's voice was no louder than a husky whisper, drawing Jude's attention back to the match at hand, but she was not allowed to continue as Alvin cut her off with a slow and tender and shockingly romantic kiss. He could practically see Leia melt into it; his hand curved from her chin to the back of her neck, and she rested hers over his heart, no trace evident of the dominance she had held over Jude.

_Eleven years between them, and they still act like _that_, _Jude reminded himself disgustedly, and merely observed Presa's veiled sorrow until Alvin returned to his seat a few moments later; he did not put his arm around her again, and his countenance remained serious.

Leia, meanwhile, was flushed and awkward, and spun the bottle vigorously enough that its neck crashed into Elize. "Hey, watch it!" cried Teepo at the collision, and Leia flinched.

"Sorry!" she squealed, hugging her knees.

"That's it! This whole game is stupid! I'm leaving!" asserted Teepo, as though having been restraining his opinions for a long time, and Elize nodded fervently in agreement, seizing him and fleeing the room before Leia could fulfill the match as demanded by the bottle. Jiao sighed and bowed his head, following the girl out the door—and just like that, the room seemed much, much bigger, though the circle grew smaller.

"_Now_ what?" asked Leia crossly, looking to Alvin for help.

Alvin shrugged. "You got rejected, I guess. Spin again."

Leia sighed and obediently twirled the bottleneck once more with a little less vigor than last time; it pointed to Rowen… whom had just risen from the bed as though to take his leave as well.

"I was just going to—" began Rowen hesitantly, but Leia had already gotten to her feet and was standing before him before he could follow Jiao and Elize out the door. He sighed and pressed a gentlemanly kiss to the back of Leia's hand, similarly to how he had treated Elize what seemed like so long ago.

"I… suppose I'll stay for one more match," said Rowen reluctantly as Leia seated herself, satisfied. "Er, King Gaius," he added. "Would you please give the bottle a spin for me?"

Gaius obliged, reaching down to tap the bottle, and it twirled around a couple times before coming to rest on himself. Jude could have sworn the two of them had planned it; Gaius raised his hand stoically, not even looking at the elder man, and Rowen gave it a hasty kiss before bowing to the group and hurriedly taking his leave.

The bottle was in motion again before anyone could react, and Jude settled back on his hands. If he wanted to get the chance to kiss Milla, the neck would either have to select himself again, or her. Frankly, he wasn't sure which one was less appealing; they were both pretty close to awful in his book.

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, the answer was instead Presa.

"Oh, this must be my lucky day," she said, straightening up and giving a theatrical stretch, and Jude wasn't sure whether she was being sarcastic or not as Gaius also rose to his feet, still standing several inches taller than her despite her high heels.

She wore the same ambiguous smile as usual, and struck the same flirtatious pose, but her king… well, he shifted from foot to foot with uncharacteristic awkwardness under her relentless gaze, and Jude for one couldn't blame him. Presa did, after all, have quite a bit of practice at scrambling the senses. (Just ask Alvin.)

When Gaius still made no move save to cross his arms, Presa entwined her arms around her neck and brushed her body against his, and—as though drawn forward by some irresistible force—Gaius finally let out a sigh that was really more like a groan and allowed their lips to meet. It wasn't long before his arms were no longer crossed but wrapped around her waist, fingers slipped between some of the strings lacing her outfit in the back.

Presa stepped back as Gaius stepped forward, swaying in a sort of tango, and nudged the bottle with her heel: she broke away to stare at it, and Gaius sighed, catching his breath, and reluctantly removed his arms, sinking back to the ground (Alvin looked vaguely sympathetic). Presa, meanwhile, remained standing and the corner of her mouth tugged up as the bottleneck indicated Wingul, who looked up at her with barely disguised disgust in his eyes—but there was something there a little like excitement, too.

_What is _with _all this sexual tension?!_ Jude let out a sigh, automatically leaning his head on Milla's shoulder and smiling to himself when she tucked a clumsy hand around his waist (he supposed, in the back of his mind, that it should be the other way around—but the fact was, he really didn't care if it meant she liked him too).

"Scared?" taunted Presa, locking eyes with Wingul, who shot to his feet as suddenly as though sitting on a pin. Jude smiled, wishing he had some popcorn to share with a wide-eyed Leia. This was going to be a good show, if the emotions crackling between them was anything to go by.

They simply stood there, in the middle of the circle, staring each other down with only an inch or two separating their bodies. "Well?" breathed Presa, barely audibly, and Wingul gave a small and somewhat savage smile as he brushed a hand lightly down and up her spine, lingering a bit at the top of her tail: Presa actually shivered, digging her fingernails into the back of his neck: his mouth opened as though involuntarily.

"Enough of this foreplay. Just _kiss_, damn it," growled Alvin, looking less than enthusiastic, and Wingul smiled slightly: Jude could tell he was planning on making him jealous as he swooped in like a falcon for the kill. Presa made an indistinct, pleased noise in the back of her throat as she curved her back away from the pressure of his hand—pressing herself against his chest in the process.

"You said you wanted people to make out," said Jude quietly, when Alvin made a disgusted noise and jerked his gaze away. "Besides, you didn't act like this when Jiao or _Gaius_ kissed her."

"Yeah, but Wingul is more—" Alvin shook his head as though bothered by insects. "Forget it. You probably wouldn't understand anyway."

Jude merely shrugged as Presa and Wingul finally broke apart; Presa sashayed back to Alvin, who scooted away from her sullenly as she seated herself, obnoxiously composed. Wingul, meanwhile, took a moment to compose himself before sinking to one knee and spinning the bottle.

_Please don't be me, _prayed Jude, addressing whatever spirits would listen. _I'll keep being a do-gooding honors student for the rest of my life as long as I don't have to kiss Wingul!_

The bottle, as though mocking him, halted on an oblivious Milla.

"Maxwell," sighed Wingul resentfully, walking over and extending a hand as though to help her to her feet. Agria lapsed into a fit of the giggles, and he shot her an annoyed glance over his shoulder before returning his gaze to Milla. "Stand up."

"You sit _down_," she corrected, glaring up at him. "I'm just fine where I am."

Wingul glanced back helplessly at his king, but Gaius only nodded encouragingly and he sank to his knees, extending his arm as though cautious—but a moment later, he yanked Milla forward by the straps crossed on her torso and engaged her in a rough kiss.

Jude made a retching noise in the back of his throat, scooting away from them, and Leia patted him reassuringly on the back, pointing at the couple after a few moments had passed: Milla delivered Wingul a stinging slap, and his hand flew immediately to where the hilt of his katana should be as he reeled. (Muzét giggled on the ceiling, and even his so-called ally Agria looked gleeful.)

"How dare you!" hissed Wingul, getting to his feet furiously, but Milla only waved as if in farewell, smiling and nudging the bottle into another spiral. He made a derisive noise in his throat and sat down next to Gaius, plainly still seething as he refused to look at Milla.

_Please, please, please, please, please… _Jude couldn't even form a coherent wish anymore, such was the strength of his focus as he stared at the bottle. She'd kissed practically everyone else. Why wouldn't the bottle just pick him for once?!

He should have known better than to hope it would change. Agria of all people was to be the lucky recipient of Milla's kiss. _It's not fair! _wailed Jude, but could outwardly do no more than scowl.

"Oh. Oh, spirits, no." Milla shook her head.

"No _way_," added Leia, plainly disbelieving.

Agria grinned. "Afraid?" she taunted, staggering over to her and falling onto all fours in a way that could have been either accidental or intentional. "Go on, then! Kiss me! I dare you!"

Milla took a deep breath and rammed her face into Agria's; Jude assumed that was meant to count as a kiss on the cheek, and was privately glad she didn't genuinely try to kiss the Shadowless. Agria apparently was as well; she grimaced, rising and kicking the bottle to spin it. She then sat down unceremoniously between Wingul and Presa once more (neither of whom looked at her).

The bottleneck pointed exactly between Jude and Leia.

"I wouldn't touch _you_ with a ten-foot pole!" exclaimed Leia furiously, clenching her fists.

"Neither would I," agreed Jude hastily.

Agria merely laughed at the two of them. "I must be the most terrifying of the Chimeriad if the great Doctor Jude and his pimple _both_ refuse to kiss me!" she giggled, and Jude couldn't tell if she was actually gloating or not. He feared for her sanity to begin with, but even more so now than ever. "I'm not going to sit around here and let this _bottle_ order me around. I quit!"

She marched out of the room, and the circle grew smaller still. Jude glanced around nervously at those few remaining, reaching his hand tentatively towards the bottle. If no one had any objections… this was a free opportunity to kiss Milla and get out of this spirit-forsaken game once and for all!

"Either spin it or don't, kid," chuckled Alvin, as though he knew his thoughts.

Jude nodded self-consciously. The former mercenary was surprisingly perceptive—or maybe Jude's feelings were just as subtle as a hand grenade in a bowl of oatmeal (a phrase Alvin had said once, which Jude didn't understand at all). "R-right," he managed, giving the bottle a tentative push, and prayed it would land on Milla, if only so he could make like Elize and be let out.

Evidently not.

"I am _not going to kiss you again_, Alvin!" growled Jude, preparing to fight if necessary. _Did someone jinx this bottle or something?! _He glanced up suspiciously at Muzét, who merely gazed down at him innocently. He gave her the 'I'm watching you' signal, which had no noticeable effect whatsoever, and turned his eyes finally back to Alvin.

The former mercenary looked like he was debating arguing, but eventually shrugged. "Your loss," he said, and tapped the bottle somewhat halfheartedly without further ado; there were dull eyes all around. _This game is falling apart fast, _thought Jude desperately. He was running out of time!

If Alvin's attitude had been somewhat lackluster before, it brightened up immediately as the bottle indicated Presa. "Down, boy," she purred, clearly seeing that the sharpness in his eyes was not born of animosity, and it was impossible to tell which of them leaned forward first: their lips met with no hesitation, passionate and intense.

And very, _very_ suggestive. Neither Alvin nor Presa seemed to care that others were watching; their hands roamed freely over one another, occasionally slipping inside their clothing to do spirits knew what. Jude glanced away before too long to find that everyone else in the circle merely stared at the two of them with varying degrees of shock and disgust evident in their expressions. (Leia in particular looked rather hurt.)

"Someone _spin_ already," called Jude boredly, when no one else was able to find the words to stop them, and Alvin surfaced abruptly: Presa pulled her hand away from his belt and obeyed, ignoring her lover's continued advances, much to his clear disappointment. Jude made a mental note not to touch the neck itself anymore.

"I hope you know that if it lands on anyone but Leia, I will have kissed them already," sighed Presa, and as if to emphasize her words, the bottle pointed directly between Gaius and Wingul. "Not that I have a problem with repeat offenses," she added, giving a catlike smile.

The two men exchanged an uncertain glance as Presa crawled towards them, giving each of them a lingering kiss on the cheek. Jude smiled: Gaius, the normally unshakable king, moistened his lips as though wanting to pull her back again for more—but resisted, merely reaching for the bottle somewhat distractedly as she returned to Alvin's side.

Jude observed the bottleneck with dull eyes as it pointed to Milla, taunting him.

"Maxwell," said Gaius impassively, getting to his feet, and Milla followed suit. Every muscle in her body was tensed, ready more for battle than a kiss, and the king crossed his arms, glancing down at her amusedly.

"I don't want to kiss you," announced Milla, and pink eyes locked.

"But you will," said Gaius quietly, tilting his head.

"Make me," said Milla, before she realized what she was saying, and shut her mouth immediately after the words had left it—too late. Jude hid his face in his hand; did she know how dangerous a challenge that was? Peeking through his fingers, he found that Gaius was actually _smiling_ in a somewhat twisted way.

Yeah, he was right. Damn it. "If you insist," was Gaius's cool response, and drew her forward suddenly to meet his lips, bowing his head to meet hers as he did so.

What followed was a clash of wills the like of which the worlds had seen only once before. Gaius pressed his mouth insistently against hers until he finally forced Milla to give way to a deeper kiss, holding both her wrists. Wingul touched his cheek where she had slapped him and muttered something under his breath that sounded like a complaint.

The Lord of Spirits, meanwhile, was either too stunned to fight back or had no wish to, because her only response was to roll the king's lower lip in her teeth, and that wasn't a hard enough bite to cause him to recoil. If anything, it seemed to spur him on even more.

"Okay, okay, we get it," called Alvin, sighing. "You're able to dominate the Lord of Spirits. Good job. Can you just… let her spin now?" Gaius's eyes slid to him before—somewhat reluctantly, Jude thought, seething—he finally pulled away from Milla and pushed her smoothly to the ground beside Jude, who tucked an arm around her and scowled at his monarch. _That was uncalled for!_

"Y-yeah," agreed Leia, glancing worriedly at Milla, who merely glared at Gaius settling back on the other side of the circle. "And half our people are gone by now anyway. We're probably really close to being done here. Why don't we let her spin and then stop playing?" _Thank the spirits, _added Jude mentally, as Gaius nodded thoughtfully and Milla reached for the bottle. _Only one more round…_

Jude closed his eyes rather than watch the bottle spin, listening to the clink of glass rolling on hardwood, knowing the spirits wouldn't favor him. They certainly hadn't thus far; why would that change?

The bottle stopped. No one said anything. No one even stirred.

Jude opened a cautious eye to look at the bottleneck, and immediately both flew wide in shock. It was pointed at him. _He _was the one. Finally, after the most inane evening in recent memory, _he _got to kiss Milla Maxwell! This made everything worth it. (Well, _almost_ everything. He had a score to settle with Gaius…)

He gazed down at Milla happily, who looked up at him with a pleasantly astonished expression deep in those incarnadine eyes. But how was he supposed to do it? Everyone was looking at them so expectantly—Alvin in particular was beaming like he had wanted this all along.

"Jude?" questioned Milla, shifting closer to him and reaching a hand tentatively towards his face. Jude's eyes followed it nervously, his heartbeat quickening to an almost unbearable pace. "Are you all right?"

"Uh, y-yeah," managed Jude, feeling himself blush at the touch of her soft fingers on his cheekbone; he pulled automatically at his collar, resenting Alvin's grin in the background. "Just fi—"

All the thoughts in his head vanished abruptly as her lips brushed against his carefully, lightly, experimentally, and then he had only to slip his hand through her hair to bring her head closer. This wasn't at all like his kiss with Leia; this was slow and gradual, many kisses strung together into one, and the outside world melted away as he closed his eyes, relaxing. All that mattered was the softness of Milla's mouth pressed against his, parting briefly, and meeting again.

"Giving me diabetes over here," laughed Alvin after what might have been seconds or eons, though his voice sounded distant; Jude opened his eyes to glare at him for breaking the moment as Milla slumped comfortably into his arms. "I think Leia's right. We've had enough kissing for the night. I'm out." He flopped onto his back without further ado, Presa glancing down at him in mingled annoyance and affection.

"Good game, everyone," sighed Leia, plainly relieved. "I'll go find Elize and the others, and tell them it's o-o-_over_," she added, standing up a little too quickly and stumbling towards the exit, flailing her arms to keep her balance. Gaius smirked after her before rising himself, along with Wingul and a reluctant Presa (Alvin followed her like a lost puppy); they offered no words to anyone as they took their leave.

Even Muzét followed after the Chimeriad, though Jude expected that she was only doing so because Gaius had done it too. She was seriously too submissive for her own good.

And just like that, Jude was left alone with Milla. He glanced down to see that she was either asleep or well on her way to getting there, head pressed against his heartbeat, fingers still curled around the neck of her now-empty bottle.

Jude smiled, stroking her hair thoughtfully and pressing one more, secretive kiss to her head. Yes, it had turned out to be a good night after all, now that he had finally accomplished his quest to kiss Milla—and he had actually gotten more than he had bargained for, what with her falling asleep on him.

He encircled her with his arms thoughtfully, leaning against one of the beds, more than ready for a good night's rest—but almost as soon as he closed his eyes, they shot open again. A new and horrible thought had just occurred to him, and he had no doubt he wouldn't be able to sleep until he had resolved it…

What would he do if she ended up blacking the whole evening out?

* * *

_I really don't know. Honestly. Sorry if I squicked anyone!_


End file.
